Run mama run- unapologetically awesome

This year for Mother's day I started what I hope to be a tradition in my family: Run Mama Run, a 5k run in honor of... ME. The park where we ran is beautiful, tall trees reminds us of the mother of all mothers and the view of the city from above is a gift to the eye, glowing in the distance, Mt.Hood, where I got married sit in plain view.. I felt so privileged.

I feel so privileged to have my boys watch me run. Though they have no idea (and never will) of what my body did to grow them from a tiny cell, birth their 9lb bodies, wear them for months, pick them up 35 times a day... they can watch THIS mama run.

It's so easy to be the self-deprecating-kind of humble when you are a woman. No-one likes, I had been taught, a woman that stands up tall, chin up, shoulders down, full chest and claims I AM AWESOME. Yet, this is exactly the kind of man we are told we want to be with. Well on Mother's day I gave myself the gift of permission: permission to feel awesome, to no longer down play what I do and who I am but to own it.

While I ran I took apart my body and hair to toe acknowledged and thanked every inch of me for being great, beautiful, strong, soft, round, hard and just awesome! I then thanked and acknowledged the internal organs that allowed me to breath in while I ran, those beautiful parts of me that have shifted and shrink to make room for my babies and then wobble back to place (or not). And most importantly I thanked my spirit, what makes me a resilient mother, one who knows how to find a centering place during tantrums, one who knows how to be compassionate even when angry, one who has been unconditionally loving even though she has been sleep deprived for 11 months.
How to be unapologetic about being awesome is something women rarely enact. I want my boys to see this in me, to recognize that women are powerful, strong, beautiful and not afraid to call themselves as much.

While running I  acknowledge my fellow running mamas, women with different but equally awesome qualities that could only maybe take a lesson in (re)claiming their beauty and their strength. I wondered how many of them were feeling and owning their true potential. How many gavethemselves permission to feel great, inside out. How many intentionally forgave the parts of them that they do not love and celebrated the parts that make them proud.

As I ran my eyes filled with tears at the beauty inside and around me, I felt privileged, awesome and just so right.